A Review by Barbara Mehlman and Geri Manus.
The conductor struck up the band, but the audience was already screaming. After all, many audience members who watched the television auditions for the third revival of "Grease," the iconic greaser classic, may have voted for the people they were about to see on the stage.
For those of you who didn't tune in to the reality show, "Grease: You're the One That I Want," this is what happened. A bunch of star-struck youngsters who believed in themselves and their talent heeded the open call for a man and woman to play teenagers Danny Zuko and Sandy Dumbrowski, the roles created by John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John in the hit film.
Among the thousands who auditioned, 20 of mediocre talent (that was the best they got) were selected to perform on successive Sundays, and at the end of each show, people called in to vote for their favorites. The following week, one man and one woman was eliminated based on the votes till the two winners were left: Laura Osnes and Max Crumm, now starring in Broadway.
Crumm's claim to fame is -- well, he has none, never having appeared on stage before, but Osnes, more experienced, did play the role of Sandy at Chanhassen Dinner theatre in Minnesota. Yes, a point is being made here, albeit a sarcastic one. Casting is an art, and when the right people are in the right roles, everyone glows and the live theater experience is exhilarating. Unfortunately, it doesn't come together in this dull incarnation of "Grease."
For lack of a better word, Crumm is just ordinary. Nice guy, kinda sweet, but merely someone working hard at acting, singing and dancing sans Travolta's charisma. Osnes, on the other hand, actually is talented but has a ways to go before she's ready for the big time. As for chemistry, this couple are simply two inert elements -- they don't connect with each other, or the audience.
The other problem is, the "reality" part has nothing to do with the reality of the saga of "Grease." The supporting cast, playing Rizzo, Kenickie, Frenchy and other members of the T-Birds and Pink Ladies, resemble more the parents of high school greasers than teenagers -- the only way they could look like they go to Rydell High School is if they were Super Seniors for many, many years.
The songs are still sing-along; the voices, especially those of Osnes, and Jenny Powers (Rizzo), are strong; and Kathleen Marshall's choreography is just right for the high school crowd. But the stage is too small and shallow for this production. It's hard to have a real dance contest when only six contestants can actually fit on the stage at one time.
And then there's the story -- cut up, doctored, and rearranged. The subplot takes over the main plot, so it's Kenickie and Rizzo who dominate. "Look at Me, I'm Sandra Dee" has been misplaced. Sandy's "Devoted to You" is too little, and way too late. And if you're waiting for the great car, Grease Lightning, to have any meaning watch the movie instead. It makes an appearance on the small, cluttered stage, but since there's no drag race, there's no point.
The T-Birds do an impressive dance number on top of the car, but that was the last we saw of it. There was some rumbling about a rumble, but no one, not even the kids behind us, could take it seriously.
So, if this production is officially classified as a revival, then poor "Grease" suffocates and dies. If it's a remake, then it still falls short of its mark. Maybe, just maybe, reality TV should leave Broadway alone. Let the cast members stand online for hours at open calls, work for their Equity cards, and make us all proud when their hard work pays off.
If you want to see "Grease," rent the movie.
Barbara Mehlman & Geri Manus
